


Petty Revenge

by I_JustWokeUp



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Awkward Sexual Situations, Bodyswap, F/M, Foreplay, Howling, Humor, M/M, Revenge, haircut, lying, sterek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-23
Updated: 2013-06-23
Packaged: 2017-12-15 23:00:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/854987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_JustWokeUp/pseuds/I_JustWokeUp
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Inspired by seanbiggerstaffrox's Freaky Furday.</p><p>A Sterek heavy one-shot in which Scott and Derek switch bodies, Scott discovers Stiles is sleeping with Derek and Scott retaliates with an electric razor.</p><p>Derek being Derek (as Scott), gets revenge. Thankfully they manage to switch back into their own body in no time, though the same can't be said for their petty revenge.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Petty Revenge

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Freaky Furday](https://archiveofourown.org/works/852337) by [Seanbiggerstaffrox](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Seanbiggerstaffrox/pseuds/Seanbiggerstaffrox). 



Scott felt kisses raining down his throat and he grinned wider: _Allison_. Raising up his neck for better access, he smiles wider, not quite wanting to open his eyes yet. 

Hands skim over his torso, he wasn’t wearing clothes. Or maybe Allison had pulled them off before he was really awake. Scott doesn’t really if this is how he’s going to wake up today. It’ll definitely be one to relive in the shower.

Ooh, she’s feeling grabby today, palming the top of his straining erection. Ugh, he lets out a groan and there’s another deep moan that Scott can’t quite place but he’s in a haze of his own lust, more focused on the soft hands gripping him.

He half jumps when sensations start traveling over to his ass. Allison must be feeling frisky. The squeezing and kneading actually feels kinda good. He can’t help moaning as it turns lazier, centralizing toward his-

“ _Whoa_!” Scott opens his eyes wide as he feels a finger go where no finger has ever gone before. And instead of Allison smiling at him, he sees _Stiles_ in front of him, flushed with patches of red all over his pale skin.

Scott tries to back up and Stiles looks at him with concern,

“You okay? I know it’s my turn but if you’re still sore, I’ll take some quality time with this guy.” He pumps and Scott nearly launches Stiles off his body, willing himself to wake up from this nightmare.

“Fuck, that hurt!” Stiles yells and Scott opens his eyes again, seeing Stiles rub his head. He’s wearing nothing but a pair of cut-off sweats, “A little warning next time?”

“ _Stiles_!” Scott looks at him in half horror, “What the fuck are you doing?”

Stiles frowns, “Is this some kind of role play? Because it’s not doing anything for me, Derek.”

Scott looks down to realize that he has more definition than memory served. And he somehow grew back his foreskin.

“Derek?”

Scott looks back up at Stiles in horror, “Dude, I’m not Derek! I’m Scott.”

Stiles frowns, “That’s awful of you. You know I’ll tell him soon. Why are you ruining our Sunday? I brought muffins and we were going to have lazy sex.”

“You’re banging Derek?” Scott scowls, shaking his head as he tries to rid himself of any information about Derek’s sex practices, “Stiles, _I’m Scott_.”

Stiles frowned, “I don’t unders-”

The door opens, and there’s Scott McCall’s body, but he’s never seen himself look quite so pissed.

“Holy balls you guys switched bodies. Holy shit, I just-” Stiles cuts himself off, horrified.

“I can’t figure out whether I’m more pissed about your finger or your relationship with Derek.” Scott tells them in the resulting pause, not really sure what to say. But he definitely feels violated.

“You touched him!?” Scott watches himself half yell, his eyes flashing as he steps towards him-well him as Derek.

“Hey man, I thought it was Allison giving me a really happy morning.” Scott defends, a claw already outstretched, “And when were you going to tell me about this unholy union?”

“That doesn’t matter because now, well you know.” Stiles is quick to declare, always the peacekeeper, “Let’s just focus on the getting you two back in your actual bodies part.”

Scott scowls, “Fuck.” He sighs, “I need a walk.”

“Clothes first, Derek- _Scott_! Sorry, it’s hard to keep that straight.” Stiles apologizes, “And stop scowling Derek. On Scott’s face, it just makes me want to hug you or laugh.”

“You can’t leave.” Derek tells Scott, “We need to fix this.”

“I gotta clear my head!” He snaps back, “I just found out a lot of shit _and_ I’m in the body of an asshole!” He needs fresh air to figure this new dynamic out.

Scott leaves, changing in front of them as they have a fight about what to do. Derek wants to call Deaton and Stiles thinks they should retrace their paths from the last twenty-four hours, figure out if they came into contact with some kind of magic amulet or something. Scott already knows that they’ll compromise by doing both.

He hopes they won’t violate his body. Probably Stiles will be too grossed out given his previous history with Scott.

Why didn’t Stiles tell him? Scott kicks a rock, frowning as he sits down. He just wants to punch Derek for getting him in this mess. Scott’s sure this is Derek’s fault. He wasn’t doing anything other than cuddling with Allison last night.

But if he punched Derek, he’d just be punching himself. Scott stands up with a start, realizing that he has Derek’s body. _He has Derek’s body_. He grins broadly at the revenge plan that flashes through his mind and starts running toward town.

\--

When he gets back, Stiles stands up in relief, “Thank god, I was getting wor-” His voice trails off as his eyes bug out, “Shiiiiiit.”

“Like it?” Scott smiles widely, trying to channel Jackson’s douchebag grin as he rakes a hand through his well-cropped hair.

“Is that Scott!?” He hears his own voice, pitched perhaps a bit deeper than usual. Stiles manages a half squeak before answering:

“Wait, Derek! Just wait.” Stiles scans the room frantically, “A hat, where’s a fucking hat?! Maybe Isaac’s scarf-”

“What the fuck?!?” There’s Scott as he should look, looking outraged. Scott thinks it’s weird to see himself look so pissed.

“Hey, Lydia always tells us that a haircut can be a great stress-reliever.” Scott tells Derek, arms crossed, “So I got a shave."

“All over!” Scott’s voice is high pitched, “You _shaved_ my head and face! Do you know how long-”

“Stop!” Stiles stands between the two of them, “Stop! Look Scott, I’m sorry we didn’t tell you. I didn’t know how to tell you that I love Derek.”

“You love him?”

“Yes.” Stiles sighs, glancing at his hair before turning to a very huffy-looking Scott, “Now you know that this will grow back soon and I actually kind of like this twinsie look that we have going on.” He grins as he brings their close-cropped heads close together, half rubbing them together. Derek is treated to the sight of Stiles and him with matching buzzcuts.

It’s pretty clear Derek hates it. 

“Did you figure it out?” Scott asks, feeling exhilarated

“Kind of. Deaton thinks that the full moon will sort it out if you guys share a howl or whatever.” Stiles explains, “Apparently you two are too out of sync and this is nature’s way of trying to get you to walk in each other’s shoes. If it doesn’t work on any of the three days, we’re stuck with you two switched for a month.”

“Fine. That’s only two days from now.” Scott eyes Derek-but it’s still eying himself which is too weird for words-“This stuff down here is strictly Property of Scott McCall and Allison Argent.” He waves a hand over _his_ junk.

Derek scowls and cups himself a la Michael Jackson, “You fucked over my hair.” Scott can’t even speak, looking at himself in horror.

“ _Stop_ that!”

“Forget trying anything, I’m not going near anything Scott-shaped.” Stiles informs both of them, smacking Derek’s Scott-shaped hand away from his Scott-shaped package, “This shit is too weird for me. Now Scott, apologize to Derek. We need you two to start getting along since you need to be in sync to do a tandem howl.”

“Fine.” Scott sighs, crossing his arms, “Sorry about the hair.”

“What’s wrong with my eyebrows?” Derek half demands, peering closer at his own face.

“Oh.” Scott rubs one, “The lady at the spa recommended waxing. Apparently they’re too unruly.” He decides not to tell Derek about the part where he gave the lady Derek’s shiny black AMEX card.

It’s damn weird to see him look so red and agitated. Stiles wraps an arm around his shoulder, half soothing him and Scott watches himself grow calmer. All the same, he doesn’t like it.

“Remember, my junk is not consenting to anything except routine bathroom functions.” Scott informs him, “And I’m treating yours the same way.”

\--

The next two days are damn hard, but Stiles forces them to do most things together in an effort to be more understanding of each other.

Scott finds himself growing more sympathetic of Derek after having to stomp around in his leather jacket and deal with Peter’s general creepiness. Plus there’s something almost freeing about not having to go to school.

Derek, for his part, keeps fumbling up the rules of lacrosse and causes Stiles to look like more of a star. He’s ripped up half of Scott’s clothes, frustrated by how often semis pop up around Allison Argent whether it’s hearing her name in conversation, smelling her scent or responding to a text message from her.

The only thing that makes it bearable is the six extra hours that school guarantees him of Stiles-time and affection from Melissa, treating him like a son.

All the same, he’s relieved as fuck when it’s time and he can switch back to himself. Scott feels similarly, especially whenever Stiles hugs him. Even if Stiles always apologizes for the awkward Pavlovian timing of his overeager dick.

They manage to complete tandem howling and wake up a little disoriented in Derek’s loft. Stiles hovers over both of them nervously.

“Scott? Derek? Are you guys in your normal bodies?”

Scott holds up his hand and smiles in relief when he sees olive-toned fingers wiggling hello at him.

“I feel better now that I don’t see how dumb I look.” Derek informs then, running a hand through his short hair, “Ugh, it feels _cold_.”

“Just wait until you feel it under the shower.” Stiles grins, adding his own hand to Derek’s short hairs in half wonder, “We could have some fun with that.”

“Please don’t suggest any kind of sexy times images to me, ever.” Scott insists, grabbing his phone as he gets off the bed, “I’m out.”

“Have lots of fun Scott.” Derek says half darkly, though it’s evident he’s happy that he’s in his body and Stiles is half-wrapped around him. There’s a gleam in his eyes that Scott doesn’t quite recognize.

At the same time he doesn’t really care because he wants to see Allison.

\--

“Hey, I’m glad you’re feeling better.” Allison smiles, pulling him in, “I missed you a lot.”

“Me too.” Scott says breathlessly, taking in her smell of Allison before kissing her. She joins him eagerly. Very, very quickly he’s grinding against her thigh, panting hard as he tries to control himself.

She pulls away, “There’s something weird-” Allison frowns, dropping a hand to feel where he's hard through the denim, “Scott, did you _pierce_ yourself?”

“What? No!” Scott frowns but lets out a half whimper as she rubs...something attached to his dick that he hadn't noticed before. He sucks in a breath at the throbbing new sensation, threaded with pain, “Augh, that feels fucking amazingly painful.” He doesn't know whether to ask her to do it again.

“I think that you got something caught...” Allison yanks his underwear and jeans down, “Wow Scott, that’s _definitely_ pierced.”

Scott looks down to the area he specifically deemed "Property of Scott McCall and Allison Argent" and lets out a choked scream. He is going to _kill_ Derek. Fumbling for his phone, there’s a text message from Derek:

_Just so you know, the piercing artist told me to wait six weeks before having sex because of infection. If you remove it, you need to wait eight weeks._

Scott lets out an even deeper howl of rage.

\--

Stiles frowns at Derek after he presses send.

“That's not what the guy said.”

“My hair is back to normal in six to eight weeks.” Derek informs Stiles, not feeling bad at all, “If I have to walk around like this in public, he should suffer too.”

“Careful, I don’t need you two pissing off the moon gods again.” Stiles yawns, “Now shut up and spoon me, we need to catch up on our Law and Order cuddling sessions.”

**Author's Note:**

> I commented something about on the first chapter of Freaky Furday because I was so amused by Scott-as-Derek not knowing how to style Derek's hair...
> 
> Seanbiggerstaffrox's story is not as overtly Stereky as mine but it's got fantastic humor, a real connection to the actual show and bro-feels. SO MANY BRO FEELS!  
> (also, major respect: it was really, really hard to write Scott and Derek and make it clear which one was which)
> 
> I just couldn't get this small Stereky idea out of my head. Hope it's as entertaining to other people as it is to me.
> 
> \--  
> update: I edited it a little more to make it less ambiguous about what happened in the surprise ending


End file.
